For a long time, I thought being a “people-person” meant being positively upbeat and meeting life with an effervescent smile. Never making waves and shrugging off discomfort with a bubbly performativity that reeked of hidden loneliness. A cheesy teachers’ pet. Being a people-person felt vapid, fake, and desperate, seeping with toxic positivity.
I didn’t know toxic positivity existed until the pandemic hit and I experienced it first-hand. At work, the way I wanted to lean into my people-first nature was to make space for everybody and all of their complicated emotions, every ounce of their confusion, fear and sadness. I realized that I needed people, a lot, and they might be needing me. But the space to feel connected wasn’t carved out, and I began reevaluating how I wanted to create intentional space that centers mutual support for people who are ready to be vulnerable, and well, real.
So now, 14 months later, I’m redefining what it means to be a people-person.
I wonder if an evolving redefinition of a people-person could be someone who enjoys trying to understand others, even if they fail a lot. This person can be an extrovert, sure, but they can also be shy, introverted, moody and sensitive. They can be the last person to speak up in a meeting, the least-likely to be performative when in a crowd.
They have periods of gaining energy from being around others because of their innate curiosity about people, but they also need to recharge alone.
They’re intentional in their relationships (new and old), even if it’s difficult.
They care so much that they challenge others to the point of reflection.
They experience a real sense of equality between themselves and others, and do their best to listen without judgement.
They're interested in evolving when it comes to themselves, and they help others evolve too.
They need people, a lot, and they're not afraid to say it.
I am a people-person. The qualities above encapsulate what I strive to be. I’m a real, fractured person. I’m interested in people, and I’m not afraid to say that I need them, a lot.
New mini-podcast: People Who Need People
If we’re not already friends on Instagram, follow me @wavvytracy so you can watch or listen in to the premier episode of People Who Need People, my mini-podcast on IG Live.
On Wednesday, May 19th at 2pm ET I’ll be chatting with long-time community builder Danielle Maveal (Lyft, Airbnb, BarkBox, Etsy) about what her life looks like as a person who needs people, and things like what does it look like to have a career centered around people and helping them? How does she care for herself as an introverted people-person?
Each month I’ll be talking on the mini-podcast with other people who need people, answering questions related to redefining what it means to be a “people-person.” These folks are community builders, authors, entrepreneurs, business folks, artists and more.
Want to recommend a guest? Send me an email.